The Gift of Girlfriends

My phone rang the other day. It was one of my girlfriends. I hadn't talked to her in a little while, but rather than a "hello" I got "I'm out shopping and there are a pair of those shoes you wanted in your size on sale. Do you want me to get them for you?" I had to laugh, to think there is someone in my life who knows me so well that she not only knows which shoes I am coveting, she knows the size and doesn't waste time with pleasantries when there are shoes to be bought! 

I have always been very lucky to have a great core group of girlfriends. I met most of them during my years as an airline employee, with a few childhood and high school buddies that I have managed to hold onto. We've been through a lot over the 20+ years of adventures, and we've all had our squabbles and moments. But when it comes down to it, we have been there for each other through thick and thin. Through marriages, divorces, children, teenager problems, husband problems, financial issues, health issues-there isn't much that one or more of us hasn't dealt with at some point.

Back in our single days, it was all about travel:

We took yearly trips to New Orleans, explored Thailand, Mexico, Central America, London, Hong Kong, so many places! Traveling together, in close quarters and on a tight budget, makes or breaks a friendship sometimes. I think my years of traveling with my girlfriends taught me how to be a good traveler-working with a variety of personalities, sharing a bed, sitting in airports for hours (we all flew standby)-you learn to deal with the mishaps of travel and have fun with it!

Over time, there were husbands and children added to our group. The dynamic changed as we couldn't travel together quite as much, and we went from borrowing each others clothes to trading off babysitting. We talked about how to deal with issues such as teething, nursing, the terrible two's, juggling work and family. I remember having a few bad days, when one of my friends would call and brighten my day. Or call and invite me to lunch, or just listen to me and commiserate.

We still fit in our girls trips....

Now they involve a bit more food and drink!

And shopping....of course!

The great thing about having a close group of friends is you can just be yourself around them. They aren't afraid to tell you if that hat you want to buy isn't really "you", or to tell you that your feet look horrible and you need a pedicure (my girlfriend Angie did just that to me, ha!). They step up when you need a helping hand, cheer you on in your endeavors and offer you a glass of wine when things aren't so great.

I can call one of my friends and even if I haven't talked to them recently, we can pick up right where we left off. We all know intimate details of each others lives, from the mundane to the racy. From funny personality quirks, like my one girlfriend's indecisiveness and how she insists on going back and forth between 2-3 stores when we are shopping, trying to decide on that "one" perfect coat, to deeper issues, like my girlfriend who dealt with some fairly serious health concerns with her son. We have all our inside jokes, and comments that mean nothing to anyone else (You want long nail?) will elicit hysterical laughter between us.

When the kids are grown and have their own lives, your girlfriends will still be there. If you end up single at the end of the day-your girlfriends are there. I know that I can count on my girlfriends, and that I will be there for them as well.

UCLA recently did a study on friendships between women. The study says "Friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They sooth our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriages, and help us remember who we really are."

That study doesn't tell me anything I don't already know.