Staring down that barrel...

Like any responsible woman over 40, I go in every year for a mammogram. Usually its a quick "boob squish" and I'm outta there. A couple years ago, they said they couldn't get a good read and needed to conduct an ultrasound. A little scary, but again was just a blip and all was well. I have dense breasts (which I don't understand, I'm barely a B cup!) and I am prone to cysts, so I go in for my mammogram prepared for the possibility of a "do-over".

This year, I was being flaky about going in. I simply did not feel like taking the time. I wondered about skipping a year. There is no history of breast cancer in my immediate family and I am considered fairly low-risk (although as we all know, there's really no such thing as low-risk when it comes to cancer.) I finally made the appointment, and was in and out in less than an hour. Voila! Easy, I thought.

A day later, I got a call from the imaging center. There was a questionable mass in my right breast and they wanted to do another mammogram. Other than being mildly irritated at having to go back, I wasn't overly concerned. I'd been down that road before, me and my dense breasts.

I went back in and got another, more intensive mammogram. Went home, thinking "okay NOW I'm done for the year with that nonsense." Got a call a day later. They were very concerned about the mass. They wanted me to come in and have an ultrasound, aspiration of the mass, and possible biopsy. They wanted me to come in as soon as possible, no procrastinating.

Things in my very overactive imagination suddenly got very real. Strangely enough, my first thought was "Why did I drink all those diet cokes over the years?! Goddamned artificial sweetener!"

Then I thought about my family. My children- a son who is still very young in many ways. A daughter, who for a myriad of reasons, has chosen not to allow me to be involved in her life right now. My brother whom I haven't spoken to in a long time and I miss every day, my other brother whose wife is due to have a baby practically any minute, my mom, my dad, and of course, B, the love of my life. I thought about all the people I care about that I've lost touch with. I thought about silly grudges, resentments and hurt feelings. I thought about the things I haven't done, the places I haven't seen, the people I haven't hugged, the unfinished work I still have on this planet. I couldn't imagine my son growing up without me there to see it. I couldn't fathom the idea of ME, a unique individual, not being in existence anymore. Suddenly, my own mortality was right there in my face. 

I met B at the hospital a couple days later for the ultrasound and aspiration (the doctor takes a thin needle and tries to drain the mass. If it drains, its all good. If it doesn't we move on to the next step). Thank God for this man, who would never let me go through this alone.

I sat in my car for a few minutes before I went in. And I whispered to myself something I often say when I am getting ready to do something new or risky. I whispered, "Do you feel lucky?" and then I gave my own response, my pat response whenever B asks if I'm feeling lucky. "I always feel lucky." I wasn't going to allow myself to consider that my endless luck might have started to run out.

The procedure was simple and painless. We chatted with the ultrasound technician and radiologist. They numbed my right breast and I closed my eyes. I focused on my breathing (thank you, yoga) and managed to put myself in a surreal, meditative state. It only took a few minutes, but felt like hours. Everyone else in the room was looking at the ultrasound screen. I heard a collective sigh and the doctor said "Oh there we go" as she inserted the needle and watched the mass drain away and disappear. A cyst, nothing more.

I had to lay on the table for about 15 minutes afterwards, making the phrase "sick with relief" a reality. I felt incredibly nauseous and incredibly, incredibly lucky. My head and heart filled up with gratitude, spilling out my eyes in a rush of tears. I thought of all the people in the world who had to deal with a different diagnosis, and I wondered at their strength and fortitude in the face of such a frightening moment.

It was just a cyst. And yet it changed my perspective and gave me a new lease on life. This beautiful, crazy life that we all are given. A gift. I always say to live it to the fullest, make the most of it. And I believe it. Now I believe it even more. Reach out to those you love. Do the things you want to do. Be your own, authentic self. Because you never know when you might be looking down that barrel, finally understanding that this too will end someday.

Always a big fan of inspirational quotes, I'll leave you with another movie favorite, from "P.S., I Love You" a corny and sweet little flick about love and loving again....

"This is my one and only life, and it is a great and terrible and short and endless thing. And none of us come out of it alive."

Live every minute like it's your last. Because someday, it will be.

My favorite things-November

Its the time of year when the weather outsides starts going from "delightful" to "frightful". I have a love-hate relationship with winter, as does my skin. Already dry, the winter chill doesn't help my skin one bit, and I am always looking for something to help it glow a little brighter and look a little smoother.

I recently received this as a sample:

Kate Somerville "ExfoliKate".

With papaya, pinapple and pumpkin enzymes, lactic acid for exfolation and both cinnamon and rosewood extract to stimulate circulation, this super exfoliator works great without drying or damaging skin.

My skin is very dry (yes, I know I already said that) but it also gets dull-looking in winter. ExfoliKate worked like a dream and left my skin feeling smooth and looking radiant.

 

Don't let the green color scare you off! It goes on very smooth and is simple to use. Just apply to clean skin, massage for 30 seconds and then leave for 2 minutes. Rinse away with warm water and enjoy the results!

 

I should also add, this stuff smells absolutely fabulous! Really fresh and even a little spicy!

ExfoliKate is also available in a gentle formula and an acne formula. But unless your skin is really fragile I found the intensive formula to be just fine on my sensitive skin, so I'd imagine it works well on most skin types.

It only takes a few minutes to treat your skin to a nice exfoliation like this one. You won't be late if you...ExfoliKate!

New York State of Mind

Of all the places I've traveled, New York is one of my all-time favorites. I don't think there is any other city that generates such a wild mix of energy, drive and pure magic. Last week, I was lucky enough to tag along with my boyfriend, who was the very proud (and very deserving) winner of a fiction contest with Poets & Writers magazine. Part of the prize included a paid trip to NYC where he met with agents, publishers and other writers, and conducted a reading at a Soho bookstore:

He was busy most of the time I was there, but I still found lots to do on my own. Just being in the hotel room was luxurious! The magazine put us up at the Library Hotel which was amazing. They have a beautiful rooftop terrace, breakfast every morning and a wine and cheese reception every afternoon. The rooms were lovely, appropriately decorated with books and book themes:

Once I revived myself from the very long flight it took to get here, I rallied and went out to explore the city!

I walked for miles, just taking it all in. The hotel was, again appropriately, right by the library:

I shopped and explored, hitting up some of my favorite NYC spots

Central Park is always an oasis, beautifully maintained and full of running paths and even a zoo! I also made my way by the Trump Towers and lit a candle at St. Patrick's Cathedral (because I'm still a Catholic girl at heart)

I also got to check out Zara, a store I'd heard about but never been to. They have some beautiful things, all very affordable!

After shopping and exploring, I made my way back to the hotel to wait for my boyfriend, B, as we were going to the reading and then out to dinner. I had a snack to sustain myself:

And then we were off! I was trying to get a pic of my outfit, which was a camo-style dress from H&M, faux leather jacket, tights, booties and a wide black belt. This was the best I could do:

The reading went very well. We had a great time and it was a full house. I am so proud of this man, he is an amazing writer (not a hack like me) and I know he is going to go places with his talent!

Afterwards we went to dinner at this cool little Soho restaurant called Mexican Radio. I loved the decor, and the food was absolutely delish!

Even though it was a busy trip, it was so good to spend time in one of my favorite places. When I was 18, I was accepted to college in NYC. I chickened out and didn't go. While wandering the city on my own, I wondered to myself what my life might be like if I'd been braver and more equipped to take on a life here. Where would I be now? WHO would I be now?

I firmly believe that everything works out just the way it's supposed to, and the paths we choose lead us to where we need to be, if we let them. If I'd moved to New York at 18, I wouldn't have my two beautiful kids, wouldn't have the life I've built here, and probably wouldn't have met the love of my life. Sometimes I wish I'd taken more chances in life, but it's okay. Every day is a new beginning and a new start, and it's never too late to do and see the things we dream of. I am here now, and I love my life. When I was ready to find it, NYC was still right there, right where it's always been.

It makes me think of one of my favorite movie monologues, from the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It has always struck a chord with me, and sometimes, when I feel like I am just too old, too tired and too..late to do things, I hear it in my head:

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you, and I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Don't be afraid to get out, explore, take a bite out of that great big apple called life. If there's something you've always wanted to do, do it! It's not too late, it's never too late. As long as you are functioning and breathing, there is always another opportunity waiting, another moment, another chance. 

Get into that New York State of Mind every day and live life to the fullest. As far as we know, this is the only one we get. Make the most of it.

A Little Lulu

One of my favorite local shops is Lulu e. Bebe. Offering the latest fashions at suprisingly affordable prices, Lulu is one of my "go-to" shopping stops when I am looking for something special. The staff is always pleasant, and I appreciate the wide range of styles-they carry items for all ages and all budgets!

I am going on vacation soon and I've been on the lookout for a fun handbag to trade out for my usual coach purse. I wanted something durable, affordable, and (of course) fabulous. I decided to check out Lulu for possibilities, and look what I found:

This cute bag is made of durable canvas material, perfect for the beach, yet classy enough for any vacation outfit! I love that it's roomy but not overly bulky, with multiple uses as a purse, beach bag and carry-on bag.

Because they were having a "buy one bag get one free" sale, I also picked up this beauty:

At first glance, it looks like a cute little evening clutch, doesn't it? But wait....

It flips open and becomes an awesome wallet! How cool is that?! And it was FREE with my handbag purchase. Yes. Free.

If you are looking for great choices in fashion, with quality items offered at reasonable prices, Lulu e. Bebe is the perfect place to shop. Even better, you are supporting our local businesses and local economy, making those fashion bargains even more of a deal, as buying local puts the money right back into our fair city and benefits us all! It's all for the greater good, right??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My favorite things-September

Sephora is one of my favorite things. I prefer shopping online, because every brick and mortar Sephora falls flat for me after my initial Sephora experience in NYC! But their online store is fabulous, and full of great deals.

They recently sent me an email offering a special deal for preferred customers. Spend $35 and get a makeup bag full of free samples. Well, I ended up spending $50 (so I could qualify for free shipping) and this is what I got:

I purchased my go-to foundation, Clinique's Moisture Surge, and some assorted items that were on sale. The freebie bag included lip gloss, moisturizers, perfume and other lovely stuff. I got an awesome green eyeliner from Urban Decay that I am in love with now, it goes on like buttah! And was about $7. This was another  favorite purchase:

Illume "Eternal Nomad" Coconut Mango Shimmer Mist. It was on sale for under $10, a great deal for a 3.5oz bottle. It smells like the best beach vacation ever and leaves a light glittery glow on your body. It is VERY subtle, so don't worry that you are going to end up looking like a bad imitation of Lady GaGa. This should be applied after you moisturize, as it has more of a water base and goes on as such.

My boyfriend and I leave for Hawaii in less than two weeks and I can't wait to try it to highlight my tan (okay so I don't really tan, I use sunless tanner and 50+ sunblock. I'm a ginger, what can I say!)

Remember when you shop Sephora online, you get three free samples with every purchase! Free shipping on orders over $50 and you earn bonus points that you can redeem for MORE free stuff! First, last and always, Sephora is one of my very favorite things.

My Favorite Things-August

I haven't posted about my favorite things in awhile-in fact I haven't posted at all for awhile! My life seems to have taken on yet another busy turn, with new writing gigs popping up (I now have my own quarterly fashion column in a local magazine! Just local stuff, but still super fun!) and of course life is always chasing me around, snapping at my heels like an angry shitzu. I keep thinking it will slow down soon, but it just isn't happening. It can be a little stressful, even though its good stress. So treating myself to luxurious facials at home is a good way to reduce that stress without feeling like I am eating away important work time.

One of my favorite ways to pamper my skin is with a mask. I am in love with this hydrating, gentle facial treatment by Sephora:

Sephora Instant Moisture Mask is a quick and easy way to brighten your skin and reduce dryness. The cute little martini-mixer style container comes with four packets. Just pour a packet in, mix warm water to the fill line, and shake. Like your favorite fruity drink, it blends together perfectly, and becomes a thick gel:

Smooth on your face and leave on for at least 5 minutes (I do 20 minutes, because I'm old and have scaly old dry skin) then rinse clean.

This is an affordable mask, especially since after using it once, I discovered that those packets make WAY too much product. You do NOT need to use a whole packet each time. I use half a packet, and fill the mixer to just halfway of the fill line. It still gives you plenty of mask to apply-even enough for your neck-and you get four more uses out of it! I use it once or twice a month, mixed in with my other extensive skin treatments.

Sephora is, as many of you know, one of my favorite places to shop online. With every purchase you get three free samples, and you accrue bonus points for other awesome freebies that you can pick and choose!

Sephora Instant Moisture Mask is a great purchase, and it doesn't surprise me that one of my favorite stores would produce one of my favorite things!

Red and Red Again!

As a redhead, keeping my color from fading is always a challenge. My hair was a natural strawberry blonde when I was younger, and when those grays started creeping in (ugh) I started highlighting, going blonder, and then eventually going a darker red.

Now I am at the point in my life of HAVING to color every three weeks without fail. I can't afford a 100-plus dollar salon visit every month, which means I do my own touch ups. Which means damage to my hair and I hate that! I am constantly fighting dryness, split ends and brassiness. And on top of everything else, my hair grows incredibly fast!

So I started looking around for some ways to keep my color strong and maybe not have to color quite so often. Long ago, I used a product by Redken that was a color-depositing shampoo. I loved it and started researching to see what might be available to us quick-fading redheads today. I found these:

Watercolors Color Maintenance Shampoo by Tressa and Riveting Reds Color Replacement Shampoo by Quantum (available at SallyBeauty )

These shampoos both provide color boost to red hair. The Tressa shampoo, which I got in Warm Spice, is a bit more subtle. I noticed a brightness to my hair after using it but not a big color change. The Quantum is a little darker and I think it deposits a bit more color. I leave them on for a good five minutes while shampooing in order to get a stronger deposit. These are not daily shampoos (I don't shampoo daily anyway) but can be used at least a couple times a week for intensifying and maintaining color.

If red isn't your thing, Tressa also comes in a variety of other shades! So take heart, all of us who color our hair out of necessity-Because I don't know about you, but I am not going down without a fight when it comes to looking good!

Fresh Faced!

The other day, I was wandering around Target and came across this:

From the UK, LookBeauty has introduced this face mask to Target stores. I'd read a bit about it in a couple magazines and thought it would be fun to try. As the box says, it claims to brighten skin, minimize dark spots and pigment irregularities, and leave skin more radiant. And I thought, 'hey we all need a little more radiance in our lives, why not?'

So after washing my face, I put the mask on. Then I had to hide in the bathroom for the 30 minute time frame because I looked like this:

Just call me Hannibal Lector!

The mask feels kind of weird, and I had to keep patting it to make it stay on my skin. In retrospect, I'd recommend laying down while its on-then it won't keep sliding off your face! I left it on for the maximum recommended time (directions say 20-30 mins) and when I removed it, I will say that my endless freckles did seem a little faded. Not necessarily a good thing for me, I like my frecs! But my skin did seem brighter and smoother.

Overall, I'd say this is a nice little addition to one's beauty regime. It doesn't do anything major to your skin, but it's hydrating and does bring some brightness out. And for the affordable price of $10 for three masks, its a bargain too!

 

Have a radiant day!

Drifting on the Winds of Change

I've been MIA because we have spent the last couple weeks going through the very tedious process of moving. My boyfriend and I decided to take the next step in our journey together and purchased a home. A little scary, a big commitment (not purchasing a home, we've both done that of course, but purchasing one together! That's big!)

I've always liked moving. Not the actual process of packing up my crap and hauling it to a new location-that sucks. But settling into a new house, making it my own and putting my own little artistic stamp on it, that is pure fun for me. I also really like the purging that comes with moving! I have my certain things I am sentimental about, and my boyfriend likes to jokingly refer to me as a hoarder, but in reality, I don't have a problem with throwing out, donating or selling things I no longer need.

Unlike many people I know, I don't get attached to houses. I have moved several times over my lifetime, and when I am moving out of a house, there is no real nostalgia attached to it. The one exception to that is the house I lived in when my children were small-I do have some fond memories of it and occasionally drive by the old neighborhood.

Maybe some of this stems from a childhood that was profoundly lacking in permanence. My parents divorced when I was four years old, and there was a lot of moving and disruption in the following years. I went to several different schools, watched my family change and grow (not necessarily in bad ways, but for kids, all change tends to be stressful) and generally felt kind of lost in shuffle of it all.

In retrospect, I guess I'm somewhat thankful for this early lesson-that change is the one thing in life we can count on. Nothing ever stays the same-nothing. We grow, we live, we die. People come and go in our lives, sometimes forever, sometimes for periods of time. Our children go from being completely dependent on us to being annoyed by us to (hopefully!) appreciating and needing us again someday. Our parents age and need care. We move, change jobs, travel, and if we are doing it right, learn from the mistakes we are bound to make and continue to grow as we navigate our time on this earth. Change is the crux of our human life, and our survival has depended on us being one of the most adaptable species on the planet.

So here we are. Unpacking, sorting, more trips to the dump or the donation bin. My son said "Is this it, are we done moving now?" Like most kids, he is tired of our wandering-we've moved three times in the last four years, as well as him having to deal with divorce and a new school. He is happy now, but change, oh how hard it can be.

I think I can safely tell him this is the last move for a long time. We love this house. Its not huge, but it is perfect for us. We have my father set up with his own room and space, he may be here awhile, or he may decide to find his own new house. My son's room is coming together and I can see my kitchen counters. We are in a neighborhood where people greet us, introduce themselves, actually say "welcome to the neighborhood". Its unique, and lovely, and I think we will be happy here for many years.

But I won't discount those winds of change. They are always there, shifting under the surface, waiting for complacency and disregard. And I'm okay with that, because its always about the next adventure.

For now, though, we are home.

Its Getting Hot in Here!

I don't often post things that are geared to one age group over another, but I know there are a lot of us ladies out there who are starting to deal with certain issues associated with *ahem* aging and our bodies changing. Yep, I'll just say it. Peri-menopause...and menopause.

Overall, I consider myself lucky in regards to this time of life. I don't think I look too terrible, haven't gained a bunch of weight (so much harder to take off at this age-seriously!) don't have the mood swings, sleep loss or headaches often associated with perimenopause. What I have dealt with, however, are HOT FLASHES. Oh.My.God.

Anyone who has suffered from hot flashes will tell you, they can be monstrous! There have been times I've shied away from certain outfits because I need to be able to peel off layers when one hits. It's like you've ingested a whole bottle of niacin while being shoved into a hi-powered microwave, cooking from the inside out. Those of you who've gone through this know I'm not exaggerating.

Then there are the night sweats. Waking up in my cute little tank top and comfy shorts to find them literally soaked in sweat. Yes I know, doesn't sound pretty. Try living it. Its not very pretty OR sexy. My boyfriend said that it must be my mutant power surfacing-the power of creating a flood via sweat. I had literally become too hot to handle! It was funny, although frustrating sometimes.

I tried a variety of remedies and supplements, from drinking cold water to sleeping with a huge fan, to exercising more and drinking less coffee. Nothing worked. I was afraid I might have to go the western medicine route, which I did NOT want to do. Pumping my body full of hormones just didn't seem right, and I know that the medications prescribed for menopause symptoms can be dangerous. It wasn't worth the risk for me.

Then I discovered this:

Recommended by a co-worker, Macafem is created from the Maca root. Maca comes from Peru and has been used there for thousands of years, a food staple of the indigenous people. It is rich in protein and minerals, including calcium, iodine, magnesium and potassium. Maca has been used as a libido enhancer and stress reliever, and has been found to relieve many symptoms associated with hormonal imbalances in women. It has even shown promise as a fertility supplement for women trying to conceive!

I decided to try it. I started with 2 tablets per day, but quickly upped it to 3-4 when there were no immediate results. After a few weeks, I was starting to feel disheartened and figured NOTHING was going to work for me. I even started thinking about going to my gynecologist and seeing about a prescription.

But right at the end of week three, I suddenly had a night where I slept through with no sweats. Then another...and another! Since then, my hot flashes have reduced DRAMATICALLY. I may still get one or two over the course of a day. But I rarely get overheated at night and the hot flashes I do get are very mild in comparison to  how they were before. I take three pills a day, which seems to be the perfect dosage for my body.

So if you are looking for some heat relief, or just looking to balance your hormones and feel good, I highly recommend Macafem. One bottle of 100 pills is about $30, plus $5 shipping. You also get a discount if you order three bottles at a time.

If you can't stand the heat...get some Macafem!

The greens have it!

Green eyeshadow is hot for 2013. It seems like everywhere I look, there is a new, fabulous green shade to wear. I love green shadow because it brings out the green in my own hazelish, brownish, greenish, yellowish weird colored eyes. This is the new palette from Pantone, with some beautiful emerald green:

Talk about the Emerald city! Dorothy would be proud!

I picked up this green shadow at SallyBeauty the other day, affordable and pretty:

I love the gold-green shade (you can see I've used it quite a bit already). I put it on the crease of my eye for shimmery depth.

This look is fun, but might be a bit much for daywear:

 

 

Don't ever be afraid to try a new look or style. You may love it or hate it, but at least you can say "hey I tried it!" Eye makeup is a great way to experiment a bit with a new look, and if its not for you, how easy is it to just wash it off!! And you don't have to spend a fortune either-you can find the latest hot green shadows at your local drugstore.

Go bold. Go Green!

 

 

 

 

       

Dr. Oz Three-Day (2.5 day?) Detox

While I don't consider my eating habits horribly unhealthy (I haven't gone near fast food in years, try to incorporate fruits and veggies into all my meals and don't oversalt food or bury it in heavy sauces) I do make some food choices that aren't always great. I drink a lot of coffee,  and consume wayyyy too much sugar and white flour. Oh, and the wine.

I decided that maybe I needed to break the cycle by "jump-starting" my body and cleaning out all the toxins and crap that are most likely floating around in there. I'm not normally a fan of any kind of cleansing fast, partly because I like food, and also because I think our bodies work just fine for the most part when it comes to cleaning things out. But I thought it might do me good to get off the sugar rush a bit, and tone down the coffee drinking. And the drinking in general...

Dr. Oz's Three Day Detox intrigued me because it was only three days, included real food products (not lemon and cayenne drinks-disgusting!) and seemed to be something I could manage. I figured I'd give it a shot! I'm going into this hoping I will come out on the other side with reduced sugar cravings and a plan to really eat clean. Here is my day-by-day review.

Day 1

First off, when I purchased all the ingredients for the detox, I knew I'd have to do a couple substitutions. One of the items on the shopping list is Almond milk, which makes me gag. So I bought coconut milk, which is palatable for me. Same with the almond butter, can't eat it (which is weird because I do like almonds by themselves!), so I got some freshly ground peanut butter from the natural food section at the store. Another ingredient that I am dreading is coconut water. Unlike the creamy goodness of coconut milk (which is like normal milk) coconut water is HORRIBLE. I always think I want to drink it, but when I take even a tiny sip, I remember that its HORRIBLE. I did get a couple small bottles of it, but I don't know how that's gonna go down.

So here's my day-

I got up and rather than my usual morning coffee, I had the green tea. I'm glad we are allowed some caffeine. I had a big cup of it, worried about a potential caffeine headache.

Breakfast smoothie. Everyone else who reviewed this said this was the best tasting of the three smoothies you get every day. Its pretty good. This was easy for me because I often have smoothies for breakfast.

I went to the gym after breakfast and did a moderate workout with one of my girlfriends. I didn't feel low energy, but afterwards I was hungry!

Lunch smoothie: I was initially excited by the Kelly green color and the addition of pineapple, which I love. The taste really wasn't bad at all, and it smelled very refreshing. But the texture-oh Sweet Mother of God-the texture. I couldn't finish it. I drank (ate?) most of it and the rest went down the sink. My boyfriend said I tasted like lawn clippings when he kissed me.

I didn't get to do the snack smoothie. I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon and by the time I got home it was close enough to dinner time that I decided to forego it and just have the dinner smoothie. By the time I got home I had a headache that was giving me blurry vision. I probably shouldn't be putting medication in my body, but I took an ibuprofen anyway.

Dinner smoothie: This smoothie has the dreaded coconut water. I only put in half of the amount called for because I  hate coconut water that much. I added some ice and a splash of coconut milk. The blueberries and the iciness of it with the added cubes made it okay. But just okay. Barely...barely okay.

So far I don't feel overly tempted to eat "real" food. I made dinner for my son and didn't even want a taste of his lovely and delicious looking chicken....seriously, I was fine.

I took my super-detox bath before bed, and had some herbal tea (I am not restricting myself with tea, even though it doesn't have it on the list other than breakfast.) I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed a relaxing bath, and while I couldn't find lavender oil, I found a pre-made Epsom and lavender soak! Perfect!

I felt  relaxed and slept great, which isn't always easy for me.

Day 2

I'm up and while I feel a little weak, overall I am good. No headache this morning and I actually looked forward to my green tea. Its not coffee but it will do!

The breakfast smoothie was still pretty good. I'm not as enthused about it as yesterday, but I drank it. I confess, I added a touch more coconut milk and a smidgen more of peanut butter....

Its almost noon and I am procrastinating about the lunch smoothie. I'm not sure if I can do it. Seriously. I think I may just make myself a big salad from all the ingredients. Does it really have to be blended? I think not.....

And that's what I ended up doing. Every time I thought about the lunch smoothie, I would literally start gagging. I have a high sensitivity to texture and I just can't get past it. So I created a salad. I used all the ingredients except the coconut milk. I diced everything up, and then I used the lime juice and coconut oil, along with a touch of balsamic and some dried herbs, to make a dressing. Quite delicious!

Its probably messing up the whole dynamic of the cleanse, but I figure its better to at least ingest all the required ingredients as opposed to my other option, which was to not eat anything. Or to eat a burger. I miss burgers....

By dinnertime I was dreading the dinner drink almost as much as the lunch. I tried to choke it down but the texture thing...ugh. It isn't as horrible as the lunch smoothie but almost.

I had a little bit of clear soup....so shoot me.

I took my relaxing bath and had some herbal tea. I didn't sleep as well tonight, because I kept having dreams of cheeseburgers....

Day 3

I feel fairly energetic today, had my tea and while I'm looking forward to coffee tomorrow, I do feel good about being able to skip it for a few days. I weighed myself this morning and I'm a little disappointed that I haven't lost much weight. But I'm going to the gym today to do my normal workout. I'm going to try to stick to the regime as close as possible today, all gagging aside.

My workout was fine, I felt a little lightheaded on the stairstepper but nothing major. I do feel like my body has adjusted to the detox. And I am not craving sugar anymore, which was one of the main reasons I did this. The breakfast smoothie was fine, I could have one of them every day.

Then came the EPIC FAIL.

I had to work at my other part time job, so I took off at 11am with no thoughts of my lunch smoothie. I didn't get out of work until 230pm. The chef always makes lunch for the staff, and when she asked if I wanted to eat I asked her to make mine to-go. I figured I'd have it for lunch the next day. I left work and went to pick up my son from school, with my to-go box sitting quietly and oh so innocently next to me on the seat.

By the time we got home, it was 4pm and I was ravenous. I'd consumed nothing but a breakfast smoothie all day, AND I'd worked out that morning. I stared at the to-go box for about a minute after I got home, before tearing it open and eating the contents.

It wasn't an unhealthy lunch by any means-small piece of grilled fish, some sliced red potatoes and sautéed greens. I didn't even feel that bad about eating it and ruining the detox. Because at that point, I just.didn't.care. I was over it.

The end result

I went into this detox to lose a few stubborn pounds and maybe give myself a kick-start for getting back to healthier eating. While I am a little disappointed in myself for not sticking to the plan for the three days, I do feel like I reaped some benefits from it, regardless of my cheating heart.

I lost 3 pounds.
I have still not had a glass of wine.
I have only had a few small bites of chocolate here and there.

But this guy....oh how happy I was to see this....

All in all, it was a good experience and something different to try. I probably wouldn't do it again, because I think that healthy eating should be a way of life-not something packed into a three day event.

I did, however, realize a few things about myself during the detox, namely that I can live without tons of sugar and I can survive without coffee. Oh and I hate green smoothies. With a passion.

The days of our lives

Like sands through the hourglass...does anyone remember that from the soap opera Days of our Lives? I haven't watched it in years so I don't know if they still use that phrase, but its been running through my mind lately.

This is my birthday month. And while I'll only share with my family and friends my REAL age, I will say that the big 5-0 is one year closer. I'm not sure why that freaks me out so much, but it does. Because it sounds soooo darn old! And all I can see in my head is that Molly Shannon skit from SNL:

Okay so please God that is NOT me...

I prefer to look at ladies like these for my inspiration:

 

Elle MacPhearson, Iman, Madonna. These girls have still GOT it! And I can only hope to look half as good as they do when I reach their ages. I know a 50 year old woman today is NOT a 50 year old woman even 20 years ago. Times have changed. We live longer, are healthier, and modern medicine grows by leaps and bounds almost daily-not to mention modern plastic surgery and many non-invasive procedures to fight aging.

 

I still have my mojo (most days), but its interesting to me how the years seem to slide by so quickly now. I remember when my kids were small, someone said to me "The days are long but the years are short". Which is very true, and the older I get, the more it seems to ring true with life in general.

There are still so many things I want to do, places I want to see. And while I know I still have (hopefully) many years left, I also know that life can be fleeting, and fragile. I find myself feeling a little rushed sometimes, looking at my bucket list and thinking about all the accomplishments I still want to achieve, and how time-precious, precious time-should not be wasted.

And sometimes, morbid as it may sound, I stop and ask myself, "If I died tomorrow, will everyone that I love know I loved them? Will they remember?" If  I can tell myself yes, if I can feel in my heart that those I love know just how much they mattered to me, then maybe thats all I really need to know I've done in my life.

Happy Birthday to me, and to you when yours comes around. Make a toast on your special day to love, and then make sure to share it with everyone who is important to you. Because at the end of the day, love is the greatest accomplishment of all.

Sally Beauty Deals and Steals!

Sally Beauty Supply is a new discovery for me, and has quickly become a favorite. Last week, in addition to their ongoing sales and specials, they were offering an additional 15 percent off to rewards members:

For those of you who have a beauty club membership at Sally (which is free-you pay $5 and get it back as a $5 gift card immediately) when you spend $25 you get a coupon for 15% off. My coupon was expiring at the end of February, and February 23 was their double rewards day. Knowing that I was going to get 30 percent off my entire purchase, I went in there with a list of needed beauty items and got all this:

I purchased two applications of AGEbeautiful hair color (I cannot afford to get a professional color every 3 weeks as my hair demands, so I do my own touch-ups here and there), along with AGEbeautiful strengthening treatment and daily conditioner. I am really liking this line, it is from Zotos and is supposed to treat the "five signs of aging hair". I can't remember right now what those five signs are, but I can guarantee my hair has them....

I also picked up some conditioning treatment packs, heat protective spray for before blow-drying and a couple travel size lotions for gifts (and I like keeping extras in my car or purse) and some "Sally Girl" eyeshadows and nail polish.

If you haven't tried the "Sally Girl" makeup line, you are missing out! Most of their makeup is 99 cents, and it is surprisingly good stuff. The pigment on the shadows rivals any high-end line, and the polishes are long lasting and such great colors! The little round pots of eyeshadow are very versatile, in that you can use them wet or dry.

Total cost to me for alllll those items was a mere $29.00 after my deep discount! Very affordable!

Check out your nearest Sally Beauty Supply for their latest deals. They always have plenty of items on sale, and most of those apply both in-house and online.

Here's to deals and steals, and staying beautiful on a budget!

Winter days...

I've lived in the North my whole life. Because of this, people often assume that I have a love affair going on with the cold and dark, saying "oh you're used to it" when mention is made of our long winter season. And that is somewhat true. I am used to it. By the time crisp September is over and the winter months loom, I admit I look forward to the long darkness and quieter moments in my life.

Winter for me is hunkering down, bundling up, catching up on my reading and movies, almost like a hibernation mode. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting outside and I do partake in many of the winter activities offered here. But I also enjoy the slightly slower pace of life winter brings. Heavy snow and the roads are bad? Ah, lets just stay home tonight....

There is a certain comfort in being at home, tucked in on the couch, maybe with a fire going and a nice glass of red wine. There is a stillness to the winter months, a reprieve from the frenetic activity that the endless daylight of summer brings. Up here, during nice summer weather, one almost feels obligated to be outside all day. Because you don't know how long the nice weather will last, and you know those dark nights are coming soon enough. A big part of me enjoys not having to worry about planning my day around the sun.

Yet this time of year, I find myself beginning to long for those summer days. Over the years, the winter and accompanying darkness seems longer and longer. I begin to wonder what the sun feels like on my face, what its like to go without a heavy coat. I remember my bare feet on the warmth of the back deck, and gaze at all my summer sandals, lined up and ready to be worn again.

I have a love-hate relationship with this place sometimes, but it is home to me. I've traveled the world and still see it as the most beautiful place on earth. We are lucky here, to have modern amenities and urban choices, with the backdrop of magnificant mountains, ocean and wildlife. There aren't too many places where you can drive 15 minutes and be on a wooded trail, where you are more likely to run into a moose or bear than a person. I appreciate all of this, and love many things about this place.

But the winters, the hibernation, grows longer as I get older. I find myself tired of the snow, of the cold, of the dark. I long for spring, for flowers and green grass. I miss it.

We talk of leaving here when my youngest finishes high school. When that time comes, I think I will be happy to  go. Yet when spring arrives, as it always does, and I break out my bike, take off for a run, and put my winter coat away, I remember that the changing seasons are one thing I love about this place. And maybe endless sunshine can be as tiresome as endless winters.

And I love how excited we get up here when the weather does finally change. People break out their shorts and flip-flops as soon as it hits 50 degrees. We start planning our summer hikes, camps and fishing trips. We shake off the dark grip of winter and look forward to those summers, so short, but so sweet.

It's snowing. But I hear spring breathing under that coat of white. We are waiting. We are ready.

Birchbox for January

Someone recently asked me, "What the heck is a Birchbox?" A Birchbox, my dear friends, goes something like this:

It's a little box (okay its not made of birch, its made of cardboard!) full of delicious samples of all kinds of new beauty products. You can sign up here. For a mere $10 a month, you get a bevy of beauty delivered to your door. Some months are, of course, better than others. But there is usually at least one full size sample in the pack, worth at least as much as the $10 you pay.

Here's what this month's "Best Year Ever" box contained:

LASHEM Lash Gel Serum:

This is meant to be applied along your lash line, to help grow thicker, fuller lashes. I haven't tried it yet, mainly because some of the reviews were less than flattering. If I do try it, I'll let you know how it works!

Number 4 Clarifying Shampoo:

This is a travel size shampoo, but is actually a nice size. Better than some of the travel size stuff you get that lasts all of 48 hours of your vacation, then you're left looking for the nearest drugstore....

Anyway, I tried it. It took a little getting used to because it is very thick and creamy. But it works! My hair felt super-clean and shiny afterwards.

theBalm Cosmetics in Hot Mama:

This lovely shadow is what makes Birchbox worth that $10 a month. I absolutely LOVE this color, its a little brighter than the picture and its a great accent on my eyes. It is considered a two-in-one blush and highlighter, but I swept it right across my lids and it looked FAB!

Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Face Cream:

The Birchbox gals put three samples of this in the box, which was a nice extra. One little sample isn't really enough, in my opinion, to see how well a product works. Especially something like face cream, where you need at least a week or so of regular use to see any results. I like the way this smells and the lightness of it. I think I would use it more as a day cream, I like a heavier (wrinkle filling!) night cream.

I also got a perfume sample of Harvey Prince Skinny Chic, which claims to not only make you smell good, it is supposed to fight cravings and keep energy levels high. I know that smells can definitely trigger our desire to eat, but I'm not sure if this really keeps me from dreaming of chocolate cupcakes. It does smell great though, a nice blend of apple,mint and lotus blossum.

So there it is. Birchbox. A box of goodies, not a box of birch.

Go check it out and see what kind of wonderland awaits! In addition to the monthly sample pack, their website offers regular discounts, specials and video tutorials!