Fighting the Good Fight

The meaning behind this blog title "Winter Girls" is two-fold. While my primary focus is on fashion, makeup, beauty and all the fun stuff, there is another reason I named this blog Winter Girls. I haven't brought it up as of yet, because I do not want to limit myself to one group or restrict myself in any way in regards to what I want to post. But in creating this blog, there was a part of me that wanted to speak out to those of us who might be considered to be entering the "winter of our lives", the over 40 age group.

Now, I'm the first one to say I'm in anything BUT the winter of my life. I'm well over 40 (how far over? None-ya-biz, thank yew....!) and feel like I'm in a wonderful place right now. I feel like I'm physically in great shape and that in some ways I look better than I did at 25. People often say I don't look my age-and I always wonder what "my age" is supposed to look like. We are in a brave new world, where age truly has become just a number in many ways.

And yet....I've been reading up a lot lately on the whole Demi Moore  debacle, and while I cannot relate to many of the things being said about her mental state and situation, there are a few things that speak to me.

It's not easy, getting older. Oh we can go on about how 40 is the new 30, and in a lot of ways, it is! Its an awesome part of one's life and I truly love and embrace who I am right now. But our bodies do and will continue to betray what is in our hearts and minds. The thing is, and what you simply cannot understand when you are 25 or 30, is that you don't FEEL any different on the inside as you get older. Oh sure, I'd like to hope I have gotten somewhat wiser, I'm more comfortable in my own skin, more secure with who I am and generally happier. But that doesn't mean there aren't days when I mourn the fading of my physical assets-I watch the crows feet creep up, the skin sag, the hair get greyer and the weight harder to maintain. I look at my body and face in the mirror and think "who IS that?" because I don't feel any older-why do I continue to look older?

I can understand some of Demi's insecurities, as I too have a younger man (not 15 years younger, but younger) and on a bad day, I feel like I am surrounded on all sides by younger, prettier women. On a bad day, its easy to look at my body with anger and wonder why its SO hard to lose that extra few pounds now, why gravity is slowly winning the battle against my skin. While I am overall a very confident person, strong and secure in my relationships, valuing myself, on a bad day....well we all have those bad days.

We could look at Demi Moore with disdain and  think "she has EVERYthing, why is she so unhappy and such a mess right now?!" But I prefer to look at her with compassion, understanding that sometimes life is just fucking hard no matter WHO you are. And sometimes we are ALL insecure, sad, scared and afraid of that face looking back at us in the mirror.

I always joke that I'm not going down without a fight when it comes to aging.  I'm not afraid to use a little medical help (not in a Joan Rivers way!), work out harder, eat better, color my greys as often as I have to, use the best products and never give in or give up! Yet there is a certain classiness in "aging gracefully", much as I hate that term (age gracefully? Bleah!). So while I will fight the good fight for the rest of my years, while I won't ever sink into some level of complacent middle-age and muffin-top, I will also remember that its okay  to be exactly who I am, and to enjoy the age I'm at. Every year is a beautiful gift and when I think about the people I've known who didn't get the pleasure of growing old, gracefully or not, I am reminded of just how fleeting and precious life is.

To quote a song "We ain't gettin' nothin but older..." It will happen to us all. It is happening to you, right now. I won't give up the fight, but I will enjoy and embrace every minute, accepting myself for who I am-wrinkles and all! Life is for living, so live it, and love it.