Taking Chances

I am not an adrenaline junkie. I don't find the idea of jumping off a cliff or out of a plane exhilarating. I don't like the rush that comes with being scared. Some people love it, get off on it in some way-that is so NOT me. Rather than finding it exciting, adrenaline makes me nauseous and light-headed with fear. Definitely not my thing.

This is more my thing....

Which is why you will usually find me on the beach rather than surfing, riding the teacups rather than plummeting in the Tower of Terror, and watching 50 First Dates over Nightmare on Elm Street.

Being uninterested in those kind of thrills doesn't mean, however, that I don't take risks. There are all kinds of risk-takers. There are all kinds of chances in life. I know people who have stayed in the same job for 30 years, even though they hated it, because seeing what else the world might have to offer was just too scary. I've known people who stay in 30 year relationships, no matter how terrible, for the same reason. People who are so afraid of change, they stagnate their lives rather than live them.

I am afraid of heights. I am afraid of deep water. I am afraid of sharks, open closet doors and roller coasters that go upside down. I am not afraid of change, chances and risking my heart. Change is sometimes the scariest thing of all, but I have managed to embrace it over the years and make it something exciting rather than something to fear. I've changed jobs, lost love, moved, traveled, explored, cried, felt defeated and yet always managed to drag myself back up and look forward to whatever tomorrow might bring. Because the scariest thing to me is the words "I wish I'd..." at the end of it all. I want to be able to say "Yes, I did it. I did the things I wanted to do. I lived."

Watching people who love extreme sports, crazy stunts and launching themselves off things is amazing to me- I wonder where they get the courage. Yet I've had those same people tell me I'm brave or crazy (or maybe both) in some of the chances I've taken in my life.

I will never be willing to jump off a real cliff-even if I'm being chased by a pack of crazed lemmings! But I am willing to jump off the cliffs of our every day lives. The cliffs that we jump off when we start something new, step out of our emotional comfort zone, or trust someone to love us. Its probably the closest I will ever come to an adrenaline rush, the rush of having someone tell you they will love you forever, and believing it.

Maybe its not skydiving. But I'll take it.