Part of the reason I haven't felt up to it is our family had to say goodbye to a very special part of our household. Our little dog, Bella, had to be put down. She was struggling with a heart condition and kidney failure, and at almost 14 years old, I couldn't bear to watch her go through the pain anymore.
Bella was a Brussels Griffon, a feisty little breed with a big dog attitude. She was a Christmas gift from my mom to my daughter, but ended up as more of a family dog. We all loved her dearly.
Bella and my Australian Cattle Dog, Trace, were best friends. We used to call them the Dynamic Duo. Where ever one went, the other followed. They were inseparable. Even at the end when she was grouchy and didn't want any of the other dogs near her, she and Trace would always sleep together on the dog beds. Bella was very brave when Trace was around, she would go after any big dog she saw-as long as she could run and hide behind Trace when they came at her!! He was her friend and protector, and even though they fought like human siblings sometimes, I can see how much he misses her.
Its hard to imagine how much space a little six pound dog can take up in a person's home and heart. Its hard to imagine life without her, and even though I still have three dogs, my house feels empty. Letting them go when its time is the most difficult part of pet ownership, and I strongly believe it is one of our biggest responsibilities. We hold onto them, perhaps for longer than we should, because WE can't bear to let them go. But we have to be able to see and hear what they are trying to tell us when they are tired, and they are ready.
I held Bella in my arms at the vet. I told her she had been a very good girl, that we loved her and we were so grateful to her for being a part of our lives. I told her it was okay to go, that she would be able to run again now, free of all the pain and suffering she'd gone through these last months. I know some people don't believe dogs go to heaven, but I have to believe it. Their little souls are so pure, so clean and light, how can they not?
I made a video of our Bella, just my way of saying goodbye and remembering her.....
The song, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, is a favorite of my sons, and he has always said he was pretty sure it was about a dog. So I thought it would be a fitting background song. We will miss our Bella bug, and we won't ever forget her. She was a wonderful addition to our family. Rest in Peace.
Always in our hearts. We love you.
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